A Prayer from Granny

Since I haven’t been working in the past few weeks, I’ve had time to spend with my Granny. One day, I took her to town and another day I cleaned some cupboards down low that she can’t get into properly. Both days, we’ve had a coffee and lunch afterwards. Whilst I was at Uni, and now working full time for over a year, I’ve been craving time to really be able to do this sort of thing- taking time out for the people who really matter in my life: my family. Thank you Jesus (and thank you Juby) for giving me a situation in life where I can have some relief from feeling so trapped in a schedule and finally do the things that are important to me. It’s not worth having to bear the guilt of regrets of things you didn’t do and time you didn’t spend.

I remember when I finished high school, I had a month before I left to go on an Overseas Mission’s trip to Mexico. I was so busy (or at least, I made myself that way). My Grandadji (Granny’s husband) had been sick for quite a while. We had developed a close relationship and part of that was we both shared a love for opera. Grandadji had just bought Paul Pott’s on CD and really wanted me to come over some time and have a listen. Considering he lived next door, this should not have been difficult. However, I said I would and then I didn’t. Not because I didn’t want to- looking back, I just didn’t have my priorities right.  After about ten days at Missions Boot Camp, we had a Commissioning Service before we left for overseas and all the families were invited. Before my family left that night, Dad told me Grandfather had passed away: we both cried together. When I got home, about 5 weeks later, Granny gave me the CD to keep. I put on a song that Grandadji had talked about and as soon as I heard the singing, I sobbed. I regretted not making the time.

And now with my own baby in heaven,  if there is anything I’ve learnt,  things can dramatically change in an instant and all of a sudden, the people who you are counting on to be around, may not be any longer. I know my Granny will pass on one day, and I’ve be sad, I know my life will be richer for having the time with her: the same with my Jubilee.  My life, at times, is harder now than ever- I’m constantly faced with disappointment, devastation and helplessness. But I know God is in control- she will forever be a blessing to me and my husband- and whilst it’s sad, we have no regrets. Joy comes in the morning.

And so, today, I’m simply going to share a prayer that my Granny gave to me. She almost lost my uncle as a little boy. She kept this prayer in her pocket and looked at it each time she felt like there wasn’t much hope and this prayer gave her the strength to keep going. I’ve typed it out and it’s on my fridge now. I love the phrase: hold my trembling hand. It really spoke to me and I hope it speaks to you.