If You Could See Me Now...

My husband and I have sometimes talked about how we think Jubilee will be in heaven (like is she a little girl, or a grown up or still a baby and if we think she will stay a certain age or will she grow up through the years just as if she was here with us). Of course, we will never know that until we meet again in heaven,but it is nice to think about sometimes. My husband likes to think that she is a little toddler running around and having fun and, I guess that I find comfort in that too. Although, it changes for me, sometimes I think of her as a toddler but most of the time, she's still my perfect little 20 week old baby (or as my little cousins call her "my little tiny bubba").

I was reading the “When Hello Means Goodbye” blog again, today. This time, I went right back to the start of her journey and read about eighteen months worth of posts. It was so encouraging and I could really identify with the raw emotion that she expressed and even found some posts from her husband which I'm sure mine will appreciate reading. One of the posts led me to Youtube and I always get side-tracked on Youtube which is a good thing cos its often when I find the things that are most meaningful to me. Like this beautiful song. I love it how the lady filming it says ‘Amen’ at the end. It is really like a prayer of reassurance for us from our little one in heaven.  I love these lyrics the most:

I never was rocked to sleep in my mother's arms
But the arms that hold me are the same arms that made me

And:

So don't waste another moment worrying about what might've been
Jesus loves me and you know I'm with Him

All I know is that if we could see her now, I know our hearts would be filled with as much joy and love as the day we held her in our arms. I love you, Jubilee xoxo