God determines the number of your days, but you determine how they are spent. The Psalmist said, 'This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. You can begin your life over today, if you live by these words:
'Today I will delete from my diary two days-yesterday and tomorrow. Yesterday was for learning; tomorrow will be a consequence of what I do today.
Today I will face life with the conviction that this day will never return,
that it may be the last opportunity I'll have to contribute because there's no guarantee I'll see tomorrow.
Today I will be courageous enough not to let opportunity pass me by; my only alternative will be to succeed.
Today I will invest my most valuable resource, my time, into my most important possession, the life God has given me.
I'll spend each minute purposefully, making today a unique opportunity. I'll tackle each obstacle knowing that with God's help I can overcome it.
Today I will resist doubt and pessimism and warm my world with a smile.
I'll maintain a strong faith, expect nothing but the best, take time to be happy, see every task as an opportunity to honour the Lord, and endeavour to leave His footprints on the hearts of those I meet.'
John Boykin wrote, 'Time is your life-nothing more, nothing less. The way you spend your hours and your days, is the way you spend your life.' So pray, 'Lord, help me to maximise this day.'
I'll admit, I've been terribly slack on adding to my blog of late. I'm feeling it may be due to lack of time with school having started up once again. But also, being completely honest, in some ways there really hasn't been much to share. God has been awesome in guiding and providing and I'm still trusting; there's not that much more going on. Things I have read haven't been speaking to me in the same way they were in previous months and I've questioned whether or not certain things which have given me strength recently would really be worth sharing with everyone- especially considering someone who is walking in similar shoes to those I have in the past 6 months. Despite this, I still feel God's preseence closer to me than ever.
Maybe, too, it's because I've just been taking each day as it comes. Life hasn't seemed too overwhelming and things seemed to have plateaued. Not that I still don't have my ups and downs- its definitely a constant struggle- but perhaps through prayer and constant petition, I might have learnt to some degree to curb my worries.
Each day on the way to school, I ask for strength for just one more day. Certain things still make me angry that I had to loose my little girl- mainly, insensitive people and often people who I would think should know better.However, I'm trying to not take things so personally and I'm finding new ways and new people to share my story with.
At the moment, I have been blessed to have a prac student in my class giving me hand with the kids- I have 29 of them now and sometimes its a real handful. We were talking about our families the other day and she told me that she has nieces and nephews and had never really contemplated having her own children until recently. I replied, "Really? I wish I was like that. I think my main problem is that I can't remember a time when I didn't know that I wanted to be a mother and maybe thats why its so hard for me to grasp God's plan in setting me back twice!" And we laughed.
So yes, the grapplings are a daily affair. Its always a few steps forward and a couple back but at least I feel I'm getting further ahead then I am getting dragged back. I was in my Dad's shop this arv and he has a copy of the "Purpose Driven Life" there. And so, I pick it up and turn to Day Number 5 which is about your view on life. Of course, there is a section there on living through trails and tests in life. A part that did stand out to me was about trails coming in many forms including "delayed promises" and "tradegies": and well, didn't that ring some bells!!
At the moment, I'm trying just to enjoy time with my husband and spend my day off learning how to relax and do things for me (believe it not, its a challenge! having always been busy and on the go). Thank God for giving me the time to do that. If it weren't for Juby, I would not have been blessed with a reduced workload. I'm so thankful.
So thats a brief update from me, but if you are reading this, I pray you too have been feeling the presence of God in your life recently and that each day, you (and I) can choose to live in the abundant blessings God has for each of us.
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