The "Gap"

There is usually a huge gap between the birth of a dream and the achievement of that dream. The question you have to ask yourself is whether it will be a fulfilment gap or a frustration gap. If it's a frustration gap you'll be miserable most of the days you're in it. And every day that you're frustrated instead of fulfilled, you lessen the odds that you'll be able to keep moving forward toward your dream. Author Seth Godin calls this gap between when you set out to do something and when you actually start to see significant results 'the dip'. The dip represents the adversity you must face, the learning curve you must go through and the hard work you must be willing to invest between conception and realisation.

If the dip you are in seems to be a road without end, here are some Scriptures you need to stand on:

 'Don't be impatient for the Lord to act! Keep travelling steadily along His pathway and in due season He will honour you with every blessing.' (Psalm 37:34 TLB)

 'Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.' (Hebrews 10:35-36 NIV) '

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.' (2 Corinthians 4:18 NIV)

God has promised you more than just the fulfilment of your dream; He has promised joy in each step you take toward it.

Amen to that!

My husband and I are just busy getting back into the routine of work and getting over colds and the like. Its his birthday tomorrow. I'm slightly sadden we have no baby to share in the flesh- I know each year he gets older the more upset he grows about not being an earthly daddy. He's longed, just as I have, to have children. I can totally sympathesise. I dread the thought of my birthday arriving too and still not being an earthly mummy and not having our babies there to cradle as we blow out the candles. Tomorrow night, when he blows out the candles, I know we'll have both Jubilee and Jasey on our minds. But God knows. Maybe next year. At the moment, we are just in that "gap" between the reality and our the achievement of our dreams and our God given callings. God help us to find the joy in each step along the way! 

To The Children of My Heart

This week, its been 6 months since we were blessed with the gift of Jubilee. I'm not usually into poems and things about loss cos I find some of them to be a bit lame. But I do love this one. I think it just says it how it is, without all the other mournful, "now you have an angel looking over you" stuff.  I stumbled across it months ago and have been waiting for the right time to share it with you all. I think today is it :-) So here goes:

To the Children of My Heart

O precious, tiny sweet little ones, you will always be to me,

So perfect, pure and innocent just as you were meant to be.

We dreamed of you and of your life and all that it would be.

We waited and longed for you to come and join our family. 

We never had the chance to play, to laugh, to rock, to wiggle.

We long to hold and touch you and listen to you giggle.

But now you’re gone…but yet you’re here,

You are our sorrow and our joy, there’s love in every tear. 

Just know our love goes deep and strong. We’ll forget you never.

The children we had, but never had, and yet will have forever.

Juby and Jasey-

the beautiful results of our undying love. You are our sorrow and our joy. The children we had, but never had, and yet will have forever.

Love always, Mummy and Daddy

Happy Ever After

"...If happy ever after did exist,

I would still be holding you like this..."

Payphone- Maroon 5

I know this song has been played to death on the radio in the last couple of months but everytime it comes on my husband and I sing along, especially loud, on this part cos it reminds us of our 'Jubes.' As my husband so often says, with his eyes tilted towards heaven, "Love ya Jubes!"

I also like the other line that leads into the chorus that says "....even the sun sets in paradise." Our lives sometimes seem less than perfect- we just have to admit that we live in a fallen world and no one, no matter how religious or loving or seemingly perfect, is exempt from bad things happening to them. As soon as we realise this, we can accept our misfortunes for what they are and put the "why mes?" behind us. We can stop dwelling on the bad, our perspective changes, and we can start living with hope and faith in what a new sun rise will bring; jubilee, rejoicing, joy and celebration. So love that our daugthers name means that!

For His anger lasts only a moment, but His favour lasts a lifetime;

weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5

The Headstone is in place :-)

Taa daa!!! My little baby girls headstone and finally, after 23 years, my big brothers grave has been marked. I absolutely love it- the back, especially. My husband and I visited the grave yard earlier in the week and it must have just gone up. I was hoping it would have been there for Juby's due date but consistent bad weather had prevented them from setting it. Be sure to visit their bodies resting place sometime, if anything it only makes you more grateful for the gift of life which we have been so blessed to enjoy :-)


Also, today I noticed my blog has had 1001 page views :-) Praying, it continues to be a thing of healing for me and others who may stumble across my ramblings.

There's Holes in the Floor of Heaven

Holes in the Floor of Heaven

Heard this song on the radio the other day- concidently, last week when we had all of that never ending rain (good ol' Kix FM). So beautiful. Only thing its missing is a verse specifically for Juby and Jasey, but that aside, the chorus is pretty special anyway :-)

And there's holes in the floor of Heaven
and her tears are pourin down
that's how you know she's watchin'
wishin' she could be here now
and sometimes when I'm lonely
I remember she can see
there's holes in the floor of Heaven
and she's watchin' over you and me.

Except, I think they both are so blessed in many ways to have escaped this world of fear and pain to be with Jesus. They are whole, pure, innocent and without sin- just like Jesus, himself. Mum used to tell us that about Issac when we were little- that he never did anything naughty or wrong; that he was perfect and living in Heaven with Jesus. I don't imagine Jubilee or Jasey crying or being upset that they did not get longer with us on earth, but rather that they are thankful for the time they had and are joyful. I imagine them walking in sheer delight and with humility as they  gaze daily upon the face of the Lord and worship him with all their heart- if only we were so blessed from such a young age. Instead, God has chosen for us to live on earth and do His work here before we are reunited with Him- but that assignment too is a special blessing; to be trusted with the work of our Saviour and to learn how to love and be close to Him despite the journey our lives take.

Until, a few months ago I was scared of dying but now I just see it like something I can look forward to, seeing Jesus- number one!- but now, especially since I have a big brother, countless other family members and two very special little babies of my very own to be reunited with once I get to Heaven.

Lifting a Heavy Heart